Miracle Experiment Report Part II

Part I of the Miracle Experiment Report detailed most of the results my colleagues and I were able to document during the process.  However, there were several incidents that need further examination and some lessons to be learned from the whole project.  This second part of the report will present those items.

Love in the Lab – the Mystery of Multiplying Spirits

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Scenes like this one – Sharon’s gene gnome and the spirit she conjured, apparently “spooning” together, made us wonder if this could have anything to do with the number of apparitions that were appearing in the lab.

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Another interesting development was seeing the spirits take an active interest in each other. Here are two of the spirits conjured by Sal Cousins – looks like they are on a date! We weren’t able to capture any actual reproductions as they happened, new spirits seemed to suddenly appear once a few were initially conjured. Could they be reproducing in a somewhat physical manner but even faster than rabbits? Or did we open a portal to the “other side” that was just allowing more ghosts than we anticipated to enter our realm? Unfortunately, time and funding prevented us from investigating this further but it may be something we look into more in the future.

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These two spirits that Dottie Lou Crisp conjured also seem rather taken with each other. Well, one of them does.

Time Warp

We were able to document this evidence that possibly explains why our clocks in the lab, as well as watches and other timepieces, seemed to go haywire.

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Sharon’s experiment playing with time and a gene gnome.

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Julie Tomlinson’s experiment examining the inner workings of a clock and changing the settings.

The Case of the Missing (or Rather, Found) Eyeball

One morning in the lab, we awoke to find this disturbing image. Terri Swallow‘s ghost was playing soccer with a disembodied eyeball in the lab!  While it explained a lot of the noises we were hearing, it raised a lot of questions as well.  Exactly to whom did this eyeball belong?  We normally have a few spare limbs laying about the lab, but nothing as rare as an eyeball would be left so callously laying about.

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Melissa Mouzin-Bennett found this eye patch shortly after the eyeball showed up.  An interesting development and yet we were no closer to finding answers.

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That is, until THIS pirate spirit showed up!  He was conjured by Rebekah Clayton and materialized missing an eye and wearing a new eye patch.  From there, it was easier to put the pieces together.

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Lessons Learned

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Spirits do NOT make good drivers. On top of being smaller than we would expect and not being able to reach the gas or break pedals…

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…they also do not appear to take the operation of heavy motorized machinery very seriously. Perhaps, since they are already dead?

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Jesus, take the wheel!

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Even though they aren’t good drivers, they still like to follow you when you go shopping, as Faye Luminescence Lamb found out!

When combined with caffeine, spirits tend to turn into poltergeists.

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Kathryn’s experiment shown here impersonating the spirit of someone who isn’t even dead yet!

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Two of Rebekah’s spirits running around and randomly dropping F-bombs (we detected this after listening to the sound recordings made in the lab).

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Julie’s experiment, scaring a gene gnome half to death.

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Julie’s experiment shown again, terrorizing the other residents of her home.

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Melissa’s experiment adopted a street name, “G-Host,” and started “tagging” everything in site!

Child Labor Laws Be Darned!

Besides carefully placed cacti, we found the only other thing the spirits seemed vulnerable to were very young children.  Babies, in particular, could see and hear the spirits no matter where they hid and held no fear of them whatsoever.  In fact, they could simply devour the ghosts without any ill effects or possessions.  Shown here is Claire‘s experiment being turned into a no-calorie snack by one brave babe.

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Conclusion

This concludes the two part report on our Miracle Experiment results.  We shall be providing the instructions for you to follow if you would like to duplicate our successes shortly (pattern to come).

 

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4 comments for “Miracle Experiment Report Part II

  1. Duddles
    October 15, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    These testresults are awesome!

  2. Danielle CrochetChick Card
    October 15, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    I have got to make a gene gnome. My former biology teacher would love it.

    • October 15, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      Well, you know where you can get the pattern! 😉 And I’d love to see yours if you make one, Danielle!